Mistakes and Messes
by wooneye
Summary: Lance can't seem to catch a break at all. One little slip up; one accidental snap and now his friends, his family, are hurt. Messes like this one are hard to clean up, and Lance doesn't even know where to start. (klance and gay allura? heck yes)


It all started with one terrible sentence he hadn't even meant to say.

Many, many months had passed since they all first formed Voltron, and by now they were truly a team to be feared. They were all tight-knit and even though many of their real families resided back on Earth, they had really become a family. Lance seriously wouldn't have had it any other way.

So, when Allura dragged another beautiful lady on board- her _lover_ \- Lance felt a little natural resentment towards her.

Her name was Kalla, and she was from the second colonized moon of Nuzumis. None of this really meant anything to Lance, of course. What really mattered to him was that this _random woman_ from some moon just stole his friend's heart like it was nothing. He grits his teeth at the thought that this badass chick could literally just punch a Galran soldier, lay her life story on the table and then suddenly she was qualified to kiss Allura until she saw stars. It didn't even bother him that they were a thing, really, it was that she came in so _suddenly_.

Kalla was welcomed by the others way too quickly too, in his opinion. Hunk warmed up to her immediately and he was usually suspicious of everyone new for weeks longer than Lance. Even Keith, who practically made it his job to keep the dark corners company, could be heard laughing at one of her jokes. Oh, Lance had just about had it.

It was weeks after Allura announced, with a pink face, that Kalla was going to stay with them until further notice that Lance made the mistake.

Everyone knew that he didn't like Kalla for whatever reason but didn't really ask him about it, thinking maybe it was more personal than they knew. It hadn't done any real damage either, seeing as he'd taken to just leaving to room when she was near rather than yelling at her (this also happened because he found out immediately she was far wittier than he was). It had only recently seemed more tense than usual after one particular evening where Kalla decided to make out with Allura _openly_ , right in front of Lance. The mix of her officially staying for a while and her being so flippant about her relationship with Allura caused something deep and ugly to rear its head inside of his chest.

"Why do you guys have to do that right here? It's fucking disgusting." He snapped, a lot louder than he'd meant.

Lance's blood ran cold immediately, and his soul left his body when Allura's bright expression fell to a confused and furious one. Fuck, fuck, fuck-

"Are you disgusted by our love?" she asked, voice steady but also upset. Shit, shit-

"Do you have a problem with me loving her?" asked Kalla, eyes dark. He narrowed his eyes, his anxiety and guilt fueling his misplaced anger. He didn't like feeling cornered.

"Yeah, what if I did? You don't need to make a big display of it." He responded tightly. _Stop talking Lance, you're fucking this up more._ Behind him, another voice piped up.

"Is that why you don't like Kalla? Because she's gay?" said Keith, who looked upset as well. Lance's brain didn't even have time to come up with a response before Kalla did.

"I see. You think It's nasty to be a big scary gay? Oh, boo hoo princess. Get over yourself. You're the disgusting one." Snapped Kalla harshly. Allura looked down right pissed.

"Lance, these are not the actions I'd expect of a Paladin of Voltron, no matter the- the beliefs he has. I would have thought you of all the paladins would be the most accepting. However, I see that is not the case. Frankly, I'm hurt." She said, voice dripping with disappointment. Lance felt as if this whole situation was happening too fast.

"Wait, no I- "

"Shut up, Lance." Kalla barked, walking Allura and herself out of the room. Lance felt strongly as if he'd missed a step on the way down a set of stairs. He turned to Keith, who looked hurt as well. Lance groaned inwardly- he was just starting to warm up to Keith. He opened his mouth, but Keith spoke first.

"I didn't realize you were like that, Lance. Do me a favor. Don't talk to me anymore, Lance." He said lowly, looking up at Lance as he finished his sentence. Lance blinked and felt his mind rush and try to say words but what could he say? What even happened just now?

"Keith I- "

"Save your breath, Lance." He said, and then walked out.

Shiro cornered Lance in the training room's shooting range less than an hour after the whole mess went down, not nearly enough time for him to really think anything over. Lance was still in shock, but Shiro looked nothing less than hell-bent.

"Lance." He started, his dad voice locked and loaded. Lance felt like he might be getting a headache. He took a deep breath mentally and turned toward Shiro, disengaging his bayard.

"Shiro, my man, how can I- "

"Lance, you know what I'm here about." He said, looking stern. Lance's forced positivity took a nose dive.

"Shiro, it was a misunderstanding, I'm really not like that." He said weakly, not looking him in the eyes. Shiro's expression didn't get any less stony.

"That's not what I heard." He responded. Lance frowned and ran his hand through his hair absently, looking at the shooting range targets. "I heard that you expressed some really strong opinions about Allura and Kalla's relationship. Lance, that type of behavior isn't acceptable, no matter what you think." He said seriously. Lance bit his lip.

"Shiro, dad, seriously I'm not- "

"Lance, this isn't the time for jokes. I'm disappointed in you. Take some time to think about how you'd like to apologize." He said, and then like it was nothing, he turned and walked out.

Lance waited until the door slid closed to engage his bayard and shoot the living hell out of the targets.

Lance laid in his bed, eyes wide open and mind racing. It wasn't that he didn't like gay people, it was just that he was being protective of Allura. He rubbed his eyes and sighed deeply, burying his face into his pillow. Kalla made Allura happy and that should be enough for him, but he didn't like how Kalla had just kicked the door open and invited herself in. God, he really sounded homophobic, didn't he? He groaned into his pillow, shifting again to face his boring gray wall.

Was it so bad to not want newcomers in his family? _You've already had one family of yours taken away from you,_ he thought darkly.

He tossed and turned all night, thinking of the previous day's mistakes. He didn't know how to apologize without possibly offending Allura further- she didn't like when one of them tried to take control over her choices. She really wouldn't like the idea of Lance trying to bar her from _dating_.

He woke up the next day at 1:30, about 3 o'clock Earth time. He groaned and rolled over, balling himself into a bundle of sheets and pillows. He really didn't want to face anyone right now.

It was about 4 o'clock Earth time when someone knocked on his door, and then after he didn't answer, they banged against it loudly. Lance groaned and got up, opening the door with an air of annoyance. In front of him with a tray of food was none other than Hunk.

"Dude, you messed up really bad." Hunk finally supplied, chewing through a bowl of food goo that was supposed to taste like rice. Lance nodded pitifully, arms wrapped around a pillow.

"I'm the last person to ever be homophobic, Hunk." Lance said heavily.

"I know." He responded.

"I don't know what to do, Hunk. I'm a dead man no matter what I do." Lance moaned, poking tiredly at his own bowl of rice-flavored food goo. He wasn't all that hungry, what with guilt eating at his stomach. "I'm not homophobic, but it really freaking looks like I am."

"Just tell them the truth." Hunk said, a little food goo drippling on his chin. Lance handed him a napkin absentmindedly, huffing.

"Oh yes, just walking in and saying, "oh hey Allura, trust me when I say I'm not a homophobic asshole. I just hate seeing you date females" will definitely go down well." Lance said bitterly. Hunk gave him The Look.

" You don't hate seeing her with females, right? It's just other people. Tell her it's your dumb inner guard dog that's driving you nuts." Hunk said, looking at Lance straight in the eyes. Lance shrugged aimlessly.

"Yeah, I guess. It's just, they probably are sitting there right now, really thinking about kicking me out of Voltron and training Kalla up for piloting Blue- "

"Lance. You're being ridiculous." Hunk said. "Just tell them you didn't mean it like that." Lance looked solemn for a minute, and then nodded slowly.

"Alright, alright. So, say I do that, okay, and it goes over well enough. What do I say to Keith?" he asked. "The guy was _pissed_ , Hunk. I mean, way more than usual."

Hunk started gathering their bowls and utensils, stopping only once to look at Lance.  
"Just say the same thing, Lance. Tell him it was a misunderstanding."

Hunk proceeded to carry everything out, wishing him a cheery "Good luck!" as he walked out. Lance felt both significantly helped and terribly inconvenienced. All he had to do now was explain and apologize.

Coran, it seemed, had other plans.

"Paladins! Meet me in the main training room stat! I have a very important activity for you all!" he announced over the intercom, the speakers screeching. Lance grumbled, pulling on his armor and walking towards to training room at his own pace, catching sight of Shiro and Keith walking together towards to room, turning the corner before he could really see them. He finally arrived, noticeably the last one there.

Oh god, it was tense.

"Alright! Allura has suggested we partake in an activity that only a few, very experienced people have ever gotten to do. Seeing as we have very little time for you all to become masters however, I've decided to bump up its schedule!" Coran said cheerfully. Kalla looked at Allura with wide eyes, only to be met with Allura's nod of approval. Lance felt his heart sink.

"It's actually quite a simple process, really, just difficult to maneuver. You'll be joining minds, almost like reading each other's head holes!" Coran explained, holding up two odd looking bands, both connected with a series of wires. The atmosphere in the room changed drastically. "I've fixed them up good and proper, so the initial risk has been lowered considerably. It's only about a 50% chance now of any permanent damage!"

"And the risk of temporary damage?" asked Shiro, looking genuinely concerned. Coran smiled a little uncertainly and then moved on, acting poorly as if he hadn't heard Shiro.

"Who would like to go first?" he asked, using the same tone as before, albeit a little chipped. After a beat of silence, Keith spoke up.

"I'd like to go first, with Lance."

Lance felt, again, as if the universe liked to pick on him and him alone.

"Great! Come on up, I'll explain it to you in greater detail."

The band was strapped around his head, a little on the tight side, and he was laying on the floor, the unwanted coolness seeming into his body. Keith was beside him, laying stiffly and very clearly tense with anticipation. Lance didn't need the mind-melder thingy to tell that Keith didn't have the best intentions with wanting to see his mind's innards. Whatever, it didn't matter anyway. He knew his mind was clean.

Coran announced that he was starting it and that the key was to just _let go_. Lance felt a joke about letting go and Elsa bubble up in his chest, but he decided for once in his life that this wasn't the time.

Suddenly, his world went dark.

Colors and images flew by him, feelings and emotions (both familiar and foreign) entered and left him in the blink of an eye. _This is Keith,_ he thought suddenly, when the images and emotions became more pronounced. A small boy asking what looked like his mother for something in Korean. His father not coming home and watching the little boy see his mother break. The boy coming home to a missing mother, and he shed so, so many tears-

Lance wiped his tears away in unison with the strong looking teen in the new memory, the teen wiping the little boy's tears away and wrapping him up in a hug. Emotions of betrayal and confusion and anger mixed wildly with love and safety, morphing into nothing less than beautiful but shockingly and so brightly Keith. Lance watched him grow up, thrown from foster home to foster home, the same teenager- Shiro, he realized- visiting him often. Snowfall, young love, Shiro holding another boy's hand and confusion… Lance's head spun with the onslaught of imagery and emotion.

A clear emotion came from nowhere, attached to a memory of a boy at the Garrison. The boy became multiple boys, the initial emotion of what could be love and affection become bitter and dull. Lance understood this quite suddenly. Keith had been used.

In a tinier voice, he let himself realize that Keith was gay.

The Images kept shifting, until they became familiar again. Family, acceptance, love- an image of himself flew by, and he felt something within him blossom.

Then, suddenly, a strong pang of self-resentment hit him along with hatred, and a memory of himself saying terrible things. Last night was replayed in his head, from Keith's point of view.

"Lance!" he heard, somewhere in the distance. The memories all faded and he was alone, in a field of endless white. The world was so quiet now, and Lance laid on the ground, all of the energy sapped out of him.

"… t's wrong with him? Why has he woken…."

"… don't know, it's not supposed to…"

Lance opened his eyes and rubbed them tiredly. He really needed rest, but something was telling him to sit up. He sat up and rubbed his eyes a little more, a blurry shape in the distance becoming clear. He strained his eyes and then stood up, his heart suddenly picking up. Finally, his eyes focused. He then wished they hadn't.

 _He_ stood there, a small smile on his face.

Lance looked down; he was thirteen again. The world spun and he was in the forest, the one behind his house. The world was too bright and too green but the boy stepped closer, taking his hands in his own. Lance was frozen, eyes locked on the boy. The boy leaned close and said _those_ words- the ones lance hadn't heard in years- and then hugged him close. Oh _God_ -

The world tilted and he was there again, his heart beating just as fast and his legs just as weak as before. _Save him, save him, save him_ , he thought harshly, the same thoughts that ripped through his mind all that time ago. The kid held the gun, eyes tightly closed, the barrel pressed against his jaw-

 _Blood, it was everywhere, especially his hands. Lance wrangled the gun out of his brother's hand and tossed it on the floor, cradling him in his arms. Blood smeared on his shirt and all over his arms and hands, but he didn't care. He screamed and screamed, but out here no one could hear them._

 _He had come there to die and never be found, of course._

 _Lance wasn't strong enough to carry him- he was cold; he was getting cold- there was nothing he could do-_

 _"Hermano," said the boy, voice wet and weak. "I love you." Lance cussed, and gripped him tightly, cradling his head as delicately as possible. In a last twist of sick fate, the face of his brother changed, and suddenly he was holding Keith._

 _Lance screamed more, hands shaking. This isn't real, this isn't real, it's not real, he thought harshly but everything was just too much._

 _Lance never stopped holding him. The sun went down and Lance still held him, the cold surrounding him. Lance was found that way-gripping him and covered in blood- the next morning._

"Lance!"

Lance was ripped from the memory, feeling as cold as he did on that day. The world around him fell into a sheet of blackness. He felt no more pain, or anything really.

The next thing he knew, he was falling out of a healing pod, shivering violently enough for him to fall over and curl up in a ball. The room was dark and the lights were dimmed greatly in the hall, signaling it was night. A sensor went off and the lights in the room lifted, but Lance still laid there. After a few minutes, Allura came rushing in, Kalla close behind her. Allura kneeled next to Lance, gently touching his back.

"Lance- "she started, but she stopped suddenly when she heard his sobs. She looked to Kalla, who shook her head. "Lance, it's alright, you're out of the mind melder." She said, a little uncertainly. Kalla sat down next to her and Lance, awkwardly touching his back along with Allura.

"What happened?" Kalla asked, unable to help herself. Allura shot her a look, but Lance responded in a watery and shaky voice.

"My-my brother. My brother, he died when I was younger, I… I couldn't save him. I had to see it again. I had to watch him die again- "Lance was cut off by his own hyperventilating, panic seizing him suddenly. Kalla as there in an instant, saying words that he couldn't hear. He was saying things, he was saying words but it was all too _much…_

For what felt like the twelfth time that week, Lance woke up in another setting with no memory of how he got there. He was in his bed this time, but his clock said that it was sometime in the morning. He looked over and saw the sleeping forms of Kalla and Allura, tangled together in a close embrace. Kalla snored loudly and Allura nuzzled into Kalla's collarbone, both in sleepwear. In an instant, Lance remembered the mess that was his past 24 hours.

He also remembered the cold body of his brother; of Keith as well.

He got up and shuffled out as quietly as he could, leaving Kalla and Allura to rest. He didn't remember what he'd done or said, but he hoped it wasn't too bad. He'd have to have The Conversation with them later- now he just wanted to check on Keith.

Keith was in the training room as usual, stabbing a gladiator though his middle just as Lance walked in. Keith paused and looked up and then his eyes widened, and what looked like fear and pity flittered across his face in a quick instant.

"Lance." He said breathlessly. Lance nodded.

"That's my name, don't wear it out." He responded, with less enthusiasm that he'd like. Keith disengaged his bayard and looked at him with a concerned expression.

"You should be resting. Kalla and Allura told us that you'd had a bad night." He said stiffly. Lance laughed a little dryly.

"One way to put it. I just- I wanted to make sure you were okay." He said, looking at the clearly fine Keith.

"If I'm okay? I should be asking you that. You had like some sort of episode after the dumb mind meld thing and then you were brain dead for almost two hours before your vitals violently dropped. I'm surprised you can even walk, what with the terrible predictions Pidge was making." He said, a little too fast. Lance gripped his shoulders and Keith looked up at him.

"I saw your entire life in what felt like fifteen minutes." He said. "I don't blame my brain for being dead. You're a lot to take in, Keith Kogane."

Keith pushed him off, face pink. "You're an asshole. You looked like you were dead, you know? I was seriously scared for your life." He started gathering up his work out things. "I was actually crying over you, Lance. No worries though, seeing as it's all _okay_ \- "

"Keith."

"I wasn't expecting the homophobia, really, but it kind of makes sense now. You're just full of surprises, Lance. This whole time I thought you were… ugh, I- "

"Keith."

"I actually like you, okay? I think, well, I thought you were a really amazing person, and yet- "

"Keith." This time, Keith turned to face Lance, feeling unbelievably angry.

"What?" he snapped. Lance closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I dreamed you died." He said, looking at his feet. "My brother died when I was a kid, Keith, he killed himself. He was bullied at school for being gay." Lance elaborated. He shuffled his feet and turned away from Keith a little.

"I'm not homophobic; it was a misunderstanding. I, uh, I'm really close with all of you guys. I think of you all as my family now, and I- we've both lost family before. I know you feel the same as I do. I felt it." Lance said thickly, still not looking at Keith. "Kalla just kind of, I don't know, appeared? It just felt like some weirdo was suddenly supposed to be my sister, but I just… I thought maybe it would change things between all of us, especially us and Allura. I guess I was scared." He breathed, the last part just above a whisper.

"I'm sorry for being a class A dick. I just don't want to lose anyone else." Lance said, voice tired.

A moment passed, and then suddenly he was being pulled into a very awkward and sweaty hug. Lance was a little disgusted, but he melted into the much needed hug and they both stayed there, hugging for a long time.

There was a lot they needed to fix, but for right now, it was going to be alright.

A few months passed, and Lance was finally getting over the nightmares he'd been getting from his experience in the mind meld. They were very terrible at first, especially the ones with Keith, and they always left him knocking on Keith's door at 3am to see if he was okay.

It was Lance's idea to just have sleepovers. The sleepovers turned into a regular occurrence.

Allura and Kalla had been eavesdropping on them in the training room, and with a few additional words and both attempting to clear things up, they finally came to a peace. Hunk was the most relieved at this, seeing as he didn't think he could give Lance anymore advice.

Shiro felt guilty for being so unforgiving, but Lance amended that quickly. Things in Team Voltron were back to normal.

Well, the closeness that him and Keith had was new, but certainly welcomed. Kalla was new too, and still not 100% one of them yet, but she was well on her way. Things weren't normal, Lance supposed, just… okay.

Things were okay.

It was okay.


End file.
